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Jonathan Sibley's Coaching & Psychotherapy Blog

Article published on the ethics of integrating coaching and psychotherapy / counseling

Recently, an article about the ethics of integrating coaching and psychotherapy I co-authored with Debra Jinks appeared in the e-journal of the Association of Integrative Coach-Therapist Professionals. If you are interested in issues related to integrating coaching and therapy / counseling, I suggest you join the AICTP as they are doing ground-breaking work in this area. You can find out more about the organization at the AICTP website.

You can download the article below. Please let me know what you think.

New Year's Resolutions (pt 2) and Performance Appraisals - How to Succeed

At this time of year, many of us find ourselves choosing a New Year's Resolution that we've tried before, or see items on our performance appraisal under "needs to improve" that have also appeared on previous performance appraisals. Why is it so hard to make and maintain progress towards these goals? In many cases, it is because of something that Bob Kegan and Lisa Lahey call our "immunity to change."

New Year's Resolutions - It's that time again

What is your track record with New Year’s resolutions? If you are like most people, it has been difficult to make lasting progress with most resolutions.

What if 2013 were different? What if you could take steps to maximize the chances that you will be successful this time? Now is a good time to be thinking about your resolutions for 2013, so let’s start by thinking about why each resolution is important to you.

The Power of Multiple Points of View

How often have you had a fight that felt like a tug-of-war, with each of you pulling as hard as you can for a different position? If you are like most people, fights like this don't feel good. And, not only do these fights feel particularly bad, but they also are usually quite ineffective at changing either person's mind about the issue at stake. One of the reasons this approach often fails is that each person is fighting so hard for his or her position that the other position seems like it is not being taken seriously.

Why most New Year's resolutions are doomed to fail

Most New Year's resolutions are, at best, valiant efforts doomed to fail. It's important to ask why so many efforts, repeated year after year, fail within months, if not weeks.

I believe that there are at least 4 reasons that most New Year's resolutions are ineffective and discarded long before achieving our goals:

How to Improve Communication - Did Your Partner Expect You to Feel What You Are Feeling?

Just as the message received by your partner may not be the message you thought you were communicating, the message you think you have received may not be the message your partner intended to communicate.

Your partner may say something that leaves you feeling:

  • Hurt
  • Embarrassed
  • Ashamed
  • Angry

Your brain may react almost instantaneously, so quickly that it seems obvious that your partner must have known you would react like this and that he or she must have intended you to feel this way. Sometimes, this may be accurate.

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