Jonathan Sibley's Coaching & Psychotherapy Blog
Submitted by Jonathan Sibley on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 11:09
How often have you had a fight that felt like a tug-of-war, with each of you pulling as hard as you can for a different position? If you are like most people, fights like this don't feel good. And, not only do these fights feel particularly bad, but they also are usually quite ineffective at changing either person's mind about the issue at stake. One of the reasons this approach often fails is that each person is fighting so hard for his or her position that the other position seems like it is not being taken seriously.
Submitted by Jonathan Sibley on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 13:15
Most New Year's resolutions are, at best, valiant efforts doomed to fail. It's important to ask why so many efforts, repeated year after year, fail within months, if not weeks.
I believe that there are at least 4 reasons that most New Year's resolutions are ineffective and discarded long before achieving our goals:
Submitted by Jonathan Sibley on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 20:38
Just as the message received by your partner may not be the message you thought you were communicating, the message you think you have received may not be the message your partner intended to communicate.
Your partner may say something that leaves you feeling:
Your brain may react almost instantaneously, so quickly that it seems obvious that your partner must have known you would react like this and that he or she must have intended you to feel this way. Sometimes, this may be accurate.
Submitted by Jonathan Sibley on Wed, 11/23/2011 - 14:59
Recently, my co-researchers, Tatiana Bachkirova and Adrian Myers, and I completed research funded by a grant from Harvard’s Institute of Coaching. Under this grant, we developed an 80 item instrument that can be used to describe what happens in a coaching session.
Submitted by Jonathan Sibley on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 10:45
One of the most common sources of misunderstandings and fights in the couples I see comes from an assumption that our partner is understanding what we communicate the way we intend them to understand it. You may be familiar with a game called “telephone”, in which a message gets passed orally from one person to another – often, the message has been completely transformed by the time it reaches the last person.
Submitted by Jonathan Sibley on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 14:07
Welcome to the first installment of a new series of articles on how to improve your relationship with someone you love.
How many times have you had a fight about something and thought “Why did we fight about that? Why was it such a big deal?” Often, we wonder why something makes our partner so upset. Sometimes, we wonder why something makes us so upset.