Just as the message received by your partner may not be the message you thought you were communicating, the message you think you have received may not be the message your partner intended to communicate.
Your partner may say something that leaves you feeling:
Your brain may react almost instantaneously, so quickly that it seems obvious that your partner must have known you would react like this and that he or she must have intended you to feel this way. Sometimes, this may be accurate.
If you are a counselor, psychotherapist, or coach there may be times when you find it draining to take care of your clients. It's not unusual to wonder what it would be like to be the client – to have someone you can trust who will deeply understand you and be there for you. Hopefully, this is what you provide to your clients, but many helping professionals haven't experienced it for themselves.
Recently, I was thinking about a common element across a lot of the work I do. Whether through coaching or counseling / psychotherapy, my clients and I get to a place where it makes sense that my clients are doing what they are doing, even though they truly want to change. And, importantly, it makes sense in a way that doesn't pathologize anyone. It's the best strategy they have found, so far, to accomplish something important - perhaps being successful, protecting themselves, or avoiding even worse consequences.
Jonathan Sibley works with older teens and young adults and their parents to improve communication and relationships. Jonathan focuses on helping young adults and their parents to understand each other and to deal with past hurts and current misunderstandings.
Family therapy for young adults and their parents is available in Montclair, New Jersey.
Whether you are an individual, a couple, a family, or an organization, and whether you are looking for a psychotherapist / counselor or a coach, if you are trying to create lasting change you need someone