Hold Me Tight was written by Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. As in EFT, the focus is on what happens to couples when our sense of safety or security in a relationship feels threatened and what we can do about it. Based on attachment theory, it appears that we ultimately want to know from our partner "can I count on you?", "do I matter to you?", "do you have my back", etc. and when we start to question this, we often end up either fighting and escalating or distancing and pulling away.
Through a series of suggested conversations, Hold Me Tight can help couples to change their dialog from unproductive fights to security-enhancing discussions. Depending on the level of conflict that exists and the attachment styles and possible trauma histories one or both partners, this book might not replace working with a therapist. However, at a minimum, it should provide an idea of how EFT-trained therapists think about couples and conflict.
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